Vibe Therapy – Ascendancy Massager 0
The Boudoir is an online sex store for women and hosts a wide range of toys, DVD’s, enhancers and accessories, all at affordable prices. I was asked to review products from their amazing designer range, starting off in the Vibe Therapy section and after browsing through the delightful options, I opted to review to the Acendancy Massager.
Presented in a clear, retangular box, it was immediatly obvious to why this toy is branded as ‘designer’. It just oozed with glamour, sophistication and quite ‘artsy’ in the sense you could leave it on a table and nobody would really question it being a sex toy. Carefully opening the plastic package, I released the Ascendancy vibe from it’s cage, alongside a booklet of information and a satin draw-string bag for storage.
The top of the Ascendancy Massager is a durable white plastic while the lower half consists of a 100% silicone in a gorgeous purple/lilac colour. Due to the silicone and plastic material, this toy is branded as waterproof so it’s suitable for shower and bath play sessions.
Measuring in a 5.5 inches in length and a circumference of 5.15 inches, this little gadget fits perfectly into the contours of your hand for a secure and tight grip. Due to it’s size, this is not an insertable toy but it’s ideal for clitoral stimulation, alongside it’s original purpose of being a massager. The Ascendancy operates on 2 x AAA batteries (not included with your purchase) and at the base of the product there is a protective cover for the battery compartment. To open, you have to push down on the small clip to release the oval tab but for me, I had a bit of trouble. The initial opening resulted in me breaking a finger nail and even then I had to find something metal and sturdy to prise it open. I feel it’s a bad design, especially if you have to break a nail trying to get it open.
However, once opened you can see two obvious places for the AAA batteries to be inserted. On the product, above the battery compartment, you can see a very faded + and – sign to indicate which way the batteries must be inserted. I didn’t see this straight away and spent a fair bit of time flipping batteries around in different combinations to get it to work. Another design flaw is the removal of the batteries because since the area is so tight, the batteries don’t slide out very easily, if at all. I had to use my nails (after they grew back) to prise out one battery and then smack the toy upside down several times to encourage the other battery to shimmy out. Truthfully, it just seemed a lot of bother.
That aside, the Ascendancy is simple enough to operate with only two buttons on the surface to play with. The power button, once pressed, turns the toy on and the button glows while pressing it again will turn it off. The button above, which can be described as a squiggly line, goes through the vibrations with every click. There are 7 different vibrations to cycle through – 3 are vibratory speeds, 1 is escalation and the final 3 are pulsating.
I started off using the Ascendancy as a clitoral vibrator and found that the third vibratory speed, the highest, was quickly favoured. While I was able to climax, it took a lot of time and I felt the vibrations could be stronger. However, the shape of the Acendancy makes it perfect for fitting into your underwear for a hands-free experience. If you’re feeling a bit erotic and kinky, I suggest wearing it in your panties, out in public on a low setting and gradually building it up without anyone knowing that you’re secretly masturbating.
Truthfully I favoured the Ascendancy more as a Massager than a vibrator and couldn’t help but moan when my partner rolled it over my skin on it’s various vibration modes. My favourite spots were the soles of my feet, up the back of my legs, the arch of my spine and behind my neck. While I was utterly relaxed, my partner claimed that the strong vibrations were hurting his wrist, a common problem with vibrators.
In regards to the noise, I have to rate it a 6 out of 10. The stronger vibrations and pulsations obviously make more noise than the quieter ones, but it’s definatly a noteable sound. As I mentioned, one of my soft spots was behind my neck but for me, the loud noise spoiled the relaxing massage. I could only compare it to a very large bee buzzing away behind my ear.
I rate this:
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4 out of 5 puppy paws!
I had to fault this product on the battery compartment, only because I feel it’s a design flaw and not very practical. For me, I prefer the Ascendancy as a massager than a clitoral vibrator but it would be ideal for someone looking for their first toy or a new addition to a growing toybox. It is a gorgeous looking product, very soft, sleek and definatly maintains that designer appearance.
The soft white draw-string bag is ideal for keeping it clean and dust-free and unlike other bags, the silicone toy slides in with ease.
If you want to buy your own Ascendancy Massager, you can pick up one here from Boudoirsextoys for only £46.99! Even if this product isn’t suited for you, make sure you check out their elegant website for more low cost adult toys!

Disclosure: Boudioursextoys provided me with this free product in exchange for my honest opinion.
