My Mirena coil experience 0
Just over a month ago I ranted about changing my life and focussed on the methods of contraception that was causing my misery. Followers on Twitter have patiently put up with my non-stop discussions from booking the appointment to the run-up of getting the Mirena coil inserted.
My previous form of contraception – the injection, wore off sometime last week and I’ve been going through Hell as the artificial hormones wear off and my natural ones come into play. I’ve had the worst mood swings, chocolate cravings and spontanious sickness. The horrible thing about it all? I had zero control.
After an awkward appointment with my Doctor about getting the Mirena coil, I was handed a prescription to pick it up, along with the date of Monday the 19th of December to get it fitted. With a week to prepare, I just stared at the massive packet that the tiny coil comes in, fearing the worst. Thankfully, I got some really reasurring emails from people sharing their experience stories and offering advice which was very much appreaciated. For the most part, this kept me calm.
Yesterday was the day and as you can imagine, I was sick with nerves. I was at the local surgery with five minutes to spare, clinging onto a bag containing the coil package and shaking like a leaf. My Mum came with me to offer further support and when the Doctor peeked her head into the waiting room and shouted out “Corinne?”, I shrieked loudly in fear and whimpered under my breath as I followed her into the Nurse’s room.
I was introduced to the Nurse who quickly explained the procedure and asked some routine questions regarding my health. Asides from the mini panic attack that I was having, I was fine. The curtain was pulled around the benched table and I was requested to strip down and use the large piece of tissue paper as a modesty panel. I came prepared, wearing a maxi skirt that I just had to lift up so the only removal of clothing was my underwear. I followed the instructions, hopping up onto the high table, laying down and covering up my dignity with a piece of paper.
My Mum was on the other side of the curtain and able to hold my hand (in case I needed something to squeeze), and the two women entered the booth bringing an industrial sized lamp, along with a trolley of medical tools and opened up the Mirena packet. As I was laying down, I couldn’t see exactly what was going on but they were quick to get the procedure over and done with. My legs were parted and as I died inside, I allowed them to do a quick check to ensure my womb was healthy and suitable to host the coil. Using a speculum, they opened me up for easy access, a strong discomfort as my eyes teared up and clinged onto my Mum’s hand. Local anaesthetic gel was rubbed in, a weird feeling, comparable to the aftermath of really rough sex.
The next stage was the insertion of the coil and was told that it would be uncomfortable due to the fact that I’ve never had kids. Yes, it hurt – I mean, a white stick was being shoved up my vagina into my womb! It was a sharp yet intense pain as I squealed out, arching my back and gripping onto my Mum’s hand for dear life. They kept telling me to relax but that’s easier said than done as I tried to breathe deeply and think of happy things like Hello Kitty and clouds. My eyes filled up with tears as I scrunched my face up, unable to speak as they told me that the procedure was almost complete.
I was told that I would feel a cramp-like pain and sure enough, like pressing a button, I endured these god-awful cramps deep in my gut, causing me to almost knee the Nurse in the face! I gasped out and was told to prepare for several more cramps, which I did and after a few more minutes – that seemed to last forever – it was over.
I curled up my legs and whimpered as the congratulated me on being so brave and gave me the privacy to get my underwear back on and compose myself. I was shaking a ridicilous amount that I almost fell off the table, eventually emerging with tears dripping down the side of my face. It was explained that I was likely to bleed and offered a sanitary towel or a tampon. If anything, tampon or penis, dare enter my fragile nether-regions, they are at risk of being violently torn apart.
My next check-up is in 6 weeks and I leave the surgery feeling sorry for myself, on the verge of full-on crying. Mum treats me to a box of chocolates for going through with it but I just want to go home and have a nap. I’m very much aware of something being up there and at certain points, I can feel it jabbing into me. A quick nap, followed by my favourite dinner and several more painkillers and I’m feeling worse than ever. Fever, the shakes, sickness and cramps that must be worse than contractions. Back to bed.
A night of hickups, non-stop cramps and waves of sickness and only now, 28 hours later, feeling a tiny bit better. The pain has eased off but I’m still not feeling myself. I’m following the Doctor’s order by relaxing and staying in bed which suits me fine, but with Christmas only a few days away, there’s still things I need to be doing like wrapping presents. All I want to do is sleep because it means I don’t have to tolerate these cramps.
I’m glad that I went through with the procedure and just want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I’ll keep you updated if I suffer from any further side-effects and how it affects my hormones in the near future. The things us females have to do, eh?
Are you a gore whore a bit like myself? Do you seek terror and wish to know about the gruesome tales of history that were too explicit for school? 
I’m not a jealous person but I find myself looking at those girls with the glamourous smiles and wishing I could be like them. I mean sure, tell me a joke and I’ll laugh but for the most part, I’ve got a default expressionless look. I can take a thousand photos and they will all have that same empty look in them. I unintentially give off a negative vibration which makes me unapproachable to most people. I’m socially awkward unless I’m around a group of friends that I’m comfortable with. I can’t help but wonder how I’ve got friends.